


Insecurities - Royal Assassin Hoshi

by faustianpixie



Series: Daily Lives of Regular Palace Residents 1- Soonhoon [11]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Assassin Hoshi, Consort Kwon Soonyoung, Hurt/Comfort, King Lee Jihoon, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Prime Minister Seungcheol, Spy Jeon Wonwoo, Spy Kim Mingyu, Spy Lee Seokmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faustianpixie/pseuds/faustianpixie
Summary: Seokmin tapped Soonyoung’s tiger mask.“You have grown attached to it haven’t you?”Soonyoung shrugged. “I have.”“I...I think hyung likes to be Hoshi.”Soonyoung frowned. “I don’t think you mean that.”CONTEXT FOR NEW READERS (11/53 - Present):The Royal Assassin Hoshi's contract with the South Eastern Kingdom and therefore the King Lee Jihoon will expire soon. He has the choice to go but he refuses to. What tethers him to this place? Is it just his attraction turned affection for the King or is it more?
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups & Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi & Lee Seokmin | DK, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: Daily Lives of Regular Palace Residents 1- Soonhoon [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828549
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Insecurities - Royal Assassin Hoshi

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR TUNING INNNN!!!!!  
> I am a bit disappointed with this piece tbh but it is necessary to understand how Hoshi feels about he's going to do next. It takes place the night before jihoon comes to visit in tandem when Jihoon decides to visit him. But I also wanted it in DK's perspective so I had to wait.  
> So pls forgive and enjoy!!!  
> FAUSTIAN PIXIE

As Seokmin waited for Soonyoung to come out of the quarters, he couldn’t help but recount last night.

Soonyoung jumped onto the ledge of the library to join Seokmin who was eating.

“Pass me some, ne?”

“Get your own hyung!” Seokmin whined. But the bag of peanuts came next.

“So why did you call me here?” Soonyoung asked, spewing bits of peanuts out into the cool night sky. 

Ideally they wouldn’t be able to eat as their faces would be covered in masks, but with Mingyu and Wonwoo securing the perimeter instead, they were clear to just observe the King. 

He was sitting in a corner pouring over through ledgers and messages. It was hard work, and Woozi did it well. And with Seungcheol along, it was only natural that the might of the South Eastern empire was bolstered. Especially with the acquisition of the South Kingdom in the early stages by the King.

“The King’s expecting a quiet night, but we can’t be complacent. Mingyu and Wonwoo will only be handling the perimeter tonight so I was spread thin. It’s my first day back after all.”

“Your fault for falling off a roof. You know you were originally supposed to pass on orders. Not give them.” Soonyoung grumbled.

“I know you would be bored out of your mind Hyung. Besides, don’t you want to give me company?”

Soonyoun snorted. “No.”

“Hyung, do you not feel any affection for me?” Seokmin asked, giving a silly smile.

Soonyoung sighed. It seemed that Seokmin had hit a nerve in asking that. Very rarely would Soonyoung take things to heart, unless there was something already plaguing his mind...or heart.

“I...I don’t know what to say Seokmin-ah.”

There was a hint of melancholy in his voice that hurt Seokmin, but his hands were tied. He couldn’t fight his hyung’s battles for him let alone win them. Soonyoung was confused. With the recent court session weighing on him as well, it was a tough time. And if Seokmin could lend a shoulder then he would gladly do it. 

So, Seokmin refused to say anything but urged him to continue with his eyes. “I...I started off not liking you or Seungcheol hyung. You were my lock and he was the keeper of keys. I tried to blame you all but you all saw how that worked.”

Seokmin snorted. Eventually Soonyoung had become strained friends with Seungcheol. They would take each other’s side, but never to the other’s face. Initially both seemed to have a common goal that was their glue - protect Jeonghan. But now, it was more than that. Seokmin would never understand it though. And he didn’t intend to. As long as the number of secrets they all kept from each other had reduced, he was more than comfortable.

“And... my contract is getting over and it just opens this wistful canvas open on what I could do after this. The possibility scares me Seokmin-ah. I-I suppose I was complacent in being here. I had coached myself saying I had no other choice and even Jeonghan tried to help me understand that it was wrong. And...the fact that I don’t want to understand. And I don’t want to take that choice...scares me.”

The words had come out slowly and carefully crafted. It was a habit of Soonyoung but at least he articulated his feelings occasionally nowadays. Initially he had preferred non verbal methods, like becoming recluse or becoming engrossed in his daily duties. With all of their constant hounding, things had improved in their bond with Soonyoung. Something they were proud of.

“Why doesn’t hyung take it?” Seokmin had to ask. Why wouldn’t Soonyoung want to leave?

Soonyoung sighed. A slouch formed so quickly Seokmin sighed. Such slouches meant that he was thinking about Jihoon.

“You shouldn’t-”

“Base my future on him. I know. But...” Soonyoung looked at the South Eastern King through the ventilation gaps. “...I love him. And I don’t think I can leave him. Besides, even if he wasn’t around, I don’t think I will be able to leave.”

Seokmin smiled. He would also not do the same. He had so many friends here he wouldn’t dare.

Seokmin tapped Soonyoung’s tiger mask.

“You have grown attached to it haven’t you?”

Soonyoung shrugged. “I have.”

“I...I think hyung likes to be Hoshi.”

Soonyoung frowned. “I don’t think you mean that.”

“Killing is horrendous. I think we both agree on that. But the urge to kill for a cause, a good one or a bad one is something that is cultivated in one who learns how to fight. But we don’t do that because we stop ourselves. We tell ourselves that the act is wrong and must be done only in self defense.”

Seokmin paused to take in Soonyoung’s intense stare. He seemed to have an inkling of where he was going with this. Seokmin tapped the tiger mask.

“This, hyung, is your excuse. It lets you kill for a cause. Good or Bad. And not have to bear it on your conscience.”

Soonyoung sat, face blank for a while. What Seokmin said seemed to have hit the nail on the head and Seokmin was worried if he had hurt his hyung by his words, but it didn’t seem to be the case.

“I do like the adrenalin. And the rush of the job. You are right till there. As to taking someone’s life, I suppose I had never thought of it. It was an arbitrary matter.”

Seokmin frowned.

“It is not just killing. What I do is protect people I love. I can kill without the mask for a cause. Gladly. But it will come at the cost of my family and friends. If they don’t accept the act, I stand to lose them. If they do, then they stand to lose me. It’s not an excuse Seokmin-ah. It’s a protection.”

“Is that why you refused to tell the King who you were that night?”

Soonyoung shrugged and tried to shy away from the question.

“Hyung, do you really need protection from the ones you love?”

Soonyoung turned to him, speechless.

“Think of this mask as a wall hyung,” Seokmin decided he would understand metaphors. He wasn’t great at them, but he would try for him. “Between people, it divides them. Around them, it protects them. It is all dependent on where you place that wall.”

Soonyoung gave a wry smile and turned to the King, blissfully unaware of the two men sitting on the roof under the moon’s gentle light. And his eyes swam in sadness. As if he was helpless and he pitied Seokmin for not understanding it.

“It won’t matter where if there is no one else.” 

~~~~~From the Private Account of Confidante Lee Seokmin, Dokyeom~~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT SO FARRRR!!!!  
> I honestly don't like this piece much (and come after myself with a pitchfork). I like the one tomorrow, but it won so it goes first. I wanted to show that the reason Hoshi isn't making the effort to go to Jihoon as Kwon Soonyoung is because of the secret he holds from him. That is why he didn't mak the effort to introduce himself in the past two years.  
> I hope it's clear!!! It'll be better tomorrow! So sorry T_T The fluff starts from the next set :)
> 
> QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: What will happen when JIHOON FINDS OUT? Will Hoshi's wall save him?  
>   
>   
> PLEASE COMMENT YOUR ANSWER BELOW  
>   
> THANK YOUUUU  
> FAUSTIAN PIXIE  
> @Myalurks This is my public twitter ID! Do interact uwu


End file.
